Hello!

"Maha, working in sex? Are you mad?"

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Well yes, but to really answer that, let's go back to my funky childhood. 

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My nuclear Muslim Pakistani immigrant family always inadvertently emphasized that happiness didn't really go along with marriage. I grew up knowing of marriage as an escape from one evil to the next, a devastating destiny, and something you had to do to have the kids you had to have. Void of joy and peace, what I would see in Disney movies and in romance novels definitely didn't mirror my reality. At some point I ended up quite annoyed at any romantic reference made online and in shows; I felt as though there was a massive lie being shoved down our throats because if all this were true– if happiness, kindness, compassion, love, and peace could all exist in a marriage, then why didn't I see any of that with my eyes? Why did I watch my parents and other couples slowly (not really to be honest, it was quite rapid) lose their individuality, compassion, and love, only to be replaced by shallowness, ego, selfishness, and bitterness? Why are we kinder to strangers than those we say we love?

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The word love itself has always been odd to me. We say we love while our browser history is riddled with porn. We say we love while we show no patience to the flaws of our partners. We say we love while we stare at strangers twenty years younger. We say we love yet we look with hate.

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Now you may think that I grew up not ever seeing love, but that isn't true. I know firsthand what love of chaos, destruction, narcissism, and inflicting pain can cause. I intimately know of how misguided love and without grounding in God can rip people and families apart; however, I also know of Islamic love that glows within the world– through a mother's love, Prophetic stories, poetry written in every century, and the kindness we see in our day-to-day lives, love absolutely exists.

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It's also not easy to explain what love is and everyone has a different definition of it. To me, love is what entangles and unifies souls together and strengthens through a collective mosaic of experiences, time, and emotions. There is a better all-encompassing term here though that extends beyond the confines of the English language– Rahma.

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Now part of my immense curiosity about the underpinning of love came a natural fascination with sex. Was sex education taught in schools your parents nightmare? Trust me, it was my absolute favourite. For the kids who skipped out on those classes, they always ended up receiving all the info that was missed from me (and might I add, with so much passion). As an outsider toward an ever-growing sphere of romance in the air through teenage love and relationships seemingly everywhere, I was a witness to the most fascinating forms of fleeting love that held so much power over those around me. In particular, in university, the way sex played a role in shaping these relationships and individuals was fascinating. On one hand, you had many who were obsessed with hookup culture and always fell into cycles of harm, and on the other you had those who were at war with themselves over following their instilled ideas of sex being reduced to male pleasure and reproduction, while simultaneously desiring erotic passion for themselves.

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It was around this time I started facing an array of mental and physical ailments that led me to reshape my Islamic journey and relationship with God– I grew up learning the basics, but Islam was minimally put into practice outside of a few "ritualistic" components like fasting and not drinking. Through these years, I learned what Islamic love is– in part through an on-campus lecture by Dr. Timothy J. Giannoti on Rahma and through varying experiences that helped reframe my perspective and worldview to account for Allah. Whether it be praying five times a day, going swimming, or stocking up on Redbull, I learned how to keep Allah present in my thoughts and actions. Slowly, any and all actions became immensely beautiful as I could see the Islamic beauty underpinning it all– specifically, I could see the Rahma of Allah with every look and breath I took.

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Alongside that growth, I went through university and my post-graduate career mesmerized by how present Islamic theology and spirituality was in sex discourses. From the beauty of an orgasm to the fascinating sole purpose of a clitoris for pleasure, I was (and am, in case that isn't obvious) obsessed with how deeply enmeshed Islam is with pleasure-based sex. In particular, I adored how sex is a form of Ibadah and how much love could be simultaneously present. I could also see glaring problems regarding sex and marriage– in particular, I could see how the obsession with "the first night," the honeymoon phase, and lust was driving sexual quality of life into the ground long-term. Alongside minimal sex education that wasn't rooted in porn, it was rare to see a beautiful Islamic marital pleasure-based sex life thrive. From events such as childbirth, grief, and menopause to monotony in sex, the distance arising from a lack of sustained emotional and sexual intimacy is evidently quietly destroying men and women globally. 

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Many can attest to the devastation felt by a loss of Rahma in their relationships. I didn't start The Sexology Studio because I've had the perfect marriage or have a utopian idea of romance. Quite the opposite: I know firsthand of how love for pain, destruction, and chaos, all unbound by Rahma, can shred people and their very souls apart. I'm not a sex wizard or love magician– through the will of Allah, I aspire to help marriages thrive as best as they can by highlighting the beauty of a fruitful sex life rooted in an Islamic framework.

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By negating teachings of pornography, ideas of sex as dirty, and superficiality of sexual experiences, all of which are antithetical to Islam, The Sexology Studio promotes sex as integrated with Islam and Rahma. Whether you're single, a newlywed, or well-established in marriage, this platform is designed to educate and reframe sex so that joy and love last a lifetime.

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Going back to the beginning, some live their lives knowing their purpose is to study medicine. Some live with a fiery passion for astronomy. I happen to live the maddest obsession for Islam and sex.